Whenever my mother made dinner at Fred's and we had potatoes, I had to peel them. One time I cut my finger purposely so I wouldn't have to finish. "Ouch! Shoot! I cut myself!" I said, and then I walked to the living room with a satisfied smile on my face. Before I turned the corner there was a loud BANG! Then another... BANG! I stood frozen in the walkway. The door flew open and a flood of bad guys with guns ran in. They had helmets on and big army boots. I panicked and looked toward the kitchen at my mother and she was running out the side door. She was leaving me!
I ran after her, screaming at her not to leave me! "Mommy! Mommy!" I screamed it as loud as I could, but she didn't come back for me. My fear was so intense that when my tears started to fall my sobs were silent. My mouth was wide open, but no noise would come out. I turned to run and one of the men grabbed me and threw me to the ground. I struggled. He took both of my arms and held them behind my back. He was hurting me. I peed my pants.
The bad guys were police officers. Eventually a woman officer came and talked to me and tried to console me. The police ransacked the house and turned everything inside out. I knew they were looking for drugs. I had no idea what would happen when they found them... so I helped them look. I thought the sooner they get what they want, the sooner they will be gone. I showed them the secret crawl space under the loft, and the extra closet space in the guest bedroom.
The officers never found anything. Fred had some kind of tip-off before it happened and had gotten rid of everything. My mother resisted arrest though and when they finally subdued her they found out she had some outstanding warrants for her arrest.. I watched them handcuff her and she started crying. "Please let me say goodbye to my daughter," she begged. "Don't worry, Fred will take care of you, I'll be back real soon," she said. Back? Back from where?
Then I realized she was going to go to jail and I ran to her! The police stopped me and I attacked them. I tried to bite and scratch and kick and I screamed and cried!.... Then she was out the door and I was left on the floor in a puddle of snot and tears. Fred picked me up and rocked me, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he said.
My mother got out of jail after a few days and things went on like it never happened. I hated the police for most of my life after that, and I never dialed 911 again. Spring arrived and Fred and my mother started a vegetable garden in the backyard. Like most things my mother took an interest in, she became obsessive about it.
She spent hours out there weeding and plowing and seeding. She made little signs identifying what each plant was. Instead of making just one sign for each row of squash she planted, she made a sign for each squash. She made dozens of little paper signs. It looked like she was trying to grow paper. After she was done I snuck back out and maliciously rearranged all the signs so nothing had the right name. She went out there the next day and threw a fit. I lied and said I didn't do it. "You're just trippin out again mom," I said and I rolled my eyes.....I was still mad at her for getting arrested and for leaving me to fend for myself when the bad guys came.