The Bad Secret (Ch. 22)

It wasn't long until John, the manager of Newmark Park noticed me.  I picked up trash there twice a day and hung around all day mooching off the other kids, and he soon began to pay me special attention.  He was an older man in his late 60's, thin, very tall with short gray hair and a trimmed mustache.  He let me help out around the park and taught me how to clean off the bases and turn on the lights.  I became his little assistant and in return he would give me money and buy me food.  He knew I needed help and offered his.  I took it.  He called me giraffe knees because he said he loved how my thin legs made my knees poke out.  

 Me at 10 years old

John came over and met my mother and then he started taking me around  to run errands with him in his car.  He took me to his house to meet his wife.  All of the staff at the park soon befriended me and looked at John with approving eyes.  He bought me new school clothes and I started wearing clean socks.  

Parts of this chapter have been hidden due to mature content.

On the outside I became rebellious.  I started smoking cigarettes again and spent a lot of time with an older girl who liked to start fires.  She had convinced me once to light a fire in the girls bathroom at the ballpark.  We each made a fire in separate stalls.  I used one square of toilet paper, she used an entire roll.  John caught us.

I started stealing wine coolers and drinking them with my new older friend too.  During an evening game in the late summer I stole an entire 12 pack and got drunk while keeping score.  I had to announce the names of the players into a microphone for the crowd and kept slurring my words.  "Nest ut to bat numbler thidy linnne Richlllard Jones."  I laughed and laughed!  John came in and took over.

I felt like destroying something, 

Parts of this chapter have been hidden due to mature content.

I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing........ I am bad.